We all get frustrated from time to time, and feel stuck or boxed in. But we need to learn to express our frustration constructively and effectively, otherwise we may hurt those we love the most.
Frustration is a normal reaction to being hurt, threatened, or unable to fulfill current needs. It’s how we express our frustration that can add to the stress in our own lives and in the lives of others.
Most often we’ve learned to deal with frustration at a very young age. For example, we may do what our parents did, or we may respond in the way we were conditioned because of our life experiences.
If the typical way you handle frustration isn’t working for you, then it’s time to change how you think and react to frustrating situations.
- Unhealthy methods of processing frustration can lead to health problems and even inhibit our relationships with others.
How to Deal with Frustration Effectively
Many people respond to frustration by getting angry, giving up, or indulging in other self-destructive behaviors such as abusing food, alcohol, drugs or cigarettes. None of these things improve the frustration, and will likely bring frustrations of their own, so you make it worse in the long run!
There are a few steps to expressing and dealing with frustration effectively, that can help reduce the frustration in your day-to-day life as well as help you respond patiently and peacefully, rather than react in ways you’d rather not!
1. Establish mutual respect. You should work to gain a mutual respect for all people involved, even those with differing opinions than your own. Everyone is entitled to his or her own voice and you’ll waste precious time if you’re frustrated by every differing opinion.
2. Have a clear awareness of your own needs, thoughts, and feelings. Discover who you are as a person rather than mimicking someone else’s opinions and thoughts.
3. Learn the difference between surface and primary needs. In other words, is this frustration about one of your basic needs not being met, or is it merely due to a less significant, secondary need? What’s preventing you from meeting this need?
4. Be aware of what you can and cannot control. Some causes of frustration are beyond your control and therefore there’s no purpose in wasting energy on them. Instead, use that energy to cope with the situation and move on.
5. Communicate constructively. Be able to communicate your own personal boundaries and needs calmly and respectfully without guilt or shame. This should not involve raising your voice or swearing. Rather, learn to speak up so your personal needs are met.
6. Avoid feeling responsible for the behavior of others. Everyone has his or her own free will and you can’t force someone to do something. They make their own decisions and a reasonable adult will take responsibility for their own actions. Remember: only you can control your actions and no one can make you do something against your will.
7. Determine the cause. By identifying the cause of your hurt or frustration without placing blame, you’ll loosen the grips of frustration.
8. Realize that frustration isn’t always a bad thing. Sometimes frustration can serve as a motivator to change if certain problems in your life are keeping you from reaching your goals.
- Regularly evaluate if you’re on track to meet your life goals. Where do you want to be in 5 or 10 years? Sometimes you need to create a new goal and make some life changes to reduce your frustration and make your goal become a reality.
9. Accept reality. When frustration is aimed at a circumstance beyond our control, it’s time to accept the realities of life.
- Learning to take things in stride will make you a happier and more content person. When the frustrating situation is something you can’t control, such as getting stuck in traffic, practicing relaxation and deep-breathing techniques can be effective.
10. Use EFTÂ to clear out of your life, once and for all, all the feelings of frustration in your body. EFT is the best tool I’ve come across to make qantum changes in all your emotional states. You can do it yourself and make great progress!
Frustration can turn a normally peaceful person into an irrational, angry one. If you allow it, frustration can hinder your progress and immobilize you. The goals you’re trying to reach will suddenly be out of reach.
Remember that while you can’t completely eliminate frustration from your life, you can manage how you let it affect you.
